Lockdown Case Histories Four

My work Memory had progressed well and by Feb 2020, I was actually looking forward to my weekly slot and working towards an ending. My self-esteem was at its highest in a very long time. Even though I still have other challenges to work on, I was in a good place. From feeling positive it was all panic and before we knew it, we were amidst a pandemic. I began to panic and the fear of catching the virus and possibly dying drove me to not want to venture outside my front door. The fear for me was very real and unsettling that when some family members and friends did not take me serious enough, I became very angry and started lashing out.

Memory told me that we would have to do our next session via zoom or skype and as much as it was a relief, I knew I needed the space more than ever. I was relieved when she said we could carry on. She began to challenge me and together we explored my existential angst. I swear before this I would laugh at anyone who said they believed in anything other than what science says about creation and human existences. Yet for once I became interested in Spirituality and open to Eastern philosophy and other cultures around the world. From roughly end of March through to June, I was keen to read more and explore further through meditation which Memory encouraged as a means of grounding myself amidst givens of life a term Memory used a lot during these sessions.

I may sound like I am exaggerating my gratitude yet I believe that not only did the therapy sessions help me stay sane, but in Memory I found that gentle and balancing voice which kept reminding me that this too would pass. As I write this, its August and I have resumed going out and meeting with a few friends apart from family. I am comfortable working from home and not under pressure to go back to the office. Memory and I have agreed to work towards an ending in about six weeks and I feel like the roughest part of the pandemic for me has passed!