Lockdown Case Histories Seven

The combination of therapy and lockdown happening at the same time – with a slower pace of life, and a break from some of the triggers, really gave me time to focus on myself and take stock and also take the time to learn and practise new ways of coping with my anxiety and low self-esteem, the meditation and mindfulness really worked well for me.
I dont think I would have been able to take the time to do all this if it hadnt been for lockdown and having therapy simultaneously. Lockdown allowed me to get back to appreciating the simple things in life, which I had lost sight of. I also started using the calm app which was a real life line for me particularly during the night if I was awake and could not switch off. Lockdown also gave me time to exercise, as I didnt have to commute anymore.

During lockdown I suffered another pregnancy loss. In all honesty since then things have taken a bit of a downhill turn and I have struggled to keep up the good habits and practices I had started. Again it came at a point where it was hard to give my-self time to grieve. I had to go to all the appointments alone. I also felt a responsibility to be there for my husband who found it hard also. People, even my husband, seemed less sympathetic than previous times, I felt very lonely and isolated in what I was going through. Having Memory to talk to helped and I was better able to voice and understand my emotions this time.

I still feel I have a lot of work to do, but the most significant thing I have gained is that I now have a good idea of how to cope better in difficult times, understanding my limits, and I am reassured in certain aspects of my personality which I used to question. The mindfulness practice and meditation has given me real hope, because I can see the potential of what I have learnt to help me more and more, as long as I continue to do it. I feel more positivity within and a big sense of relief that I have a way to unwind from all this and that Im not crazy or a lost cause, but that I have been through a lot and just need to stop to look after myself when I need it. I know this is something I must prioritise now, particularly with improving my relationship with my parents and as life gets busier again.
I think I will always look back on lockdown as a turning point in my life, as prior to having therapy I was completely unable to manage or understand my anxiety and stresses. I am determined to continue with this after lockdown eases and I dont have my weekly calls with Memory anymore.